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strider-sister:

I SMELLED FOOD IN MY HOUSE SO I WALKED OUT TO SEE WHAT MY PARENTS WERE MAKING AND THEY SAW ME AND THEN MY DAD YELLED “HA I TOLD YOU YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS”

MY PARENTS MADE A BET TO SEE IF I WOULD COME OUT OF MY ROOM IF I SMELLED FOOD AND THEY WERE RIGHT

(via fatblackpeople)

twitturds:

walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home

(via orgasmic-humor)

im gonna be so hot next year and everyones gonna be like why did we ignore her last year and ill have to make a chart so i can spend equal time with all my boyfriends

(via smathmouth)

I have been treating you 
like the bandage
when you might actually
be the wound.

(via drunken-hour)

dickochet:

Have you ever regretted a decision you made so much that you think about it all the time and you imagine all of the different ways the situation could have turned out if you didn’t mess up so bad

(via drunken-hour)

bulletbakas:

Ain’t no friendship like a friendship where you’re either confused as siblings or gay lovers

(via laugh-til-ya-fart)